Asking about "The Ex."This one often slips out in storytelling when dishing about holiday memories, bad dates, or old college tales."Try to keep it in check as much as possible," says Hilary Rushford, founder of gentlemen's branding blog dapper & the duchess. Even just the idea of the last person you were crazy about can be a bit of a buzz-kill." Same goes with asking your date why his last relationship failed, or why he's "still" single.2. Curiosity is the quickest way to kill the connection—especially when it comes to nosing into your date's sex life. Unless your aim is to have sex that night, keep the flirting lighthearted, and save the number of partners and ‘how old were you when' questions for when the time is right."3. Money talk speaks volumes, and is a surefire way to scare him away.According to Coach Steph, a renowned "love expert," sexual advances—even in the form of a question—can be considered disrespectful and even obscene."A first date is an opportunity to get to know the person in front of you, and that person will feel a bit violated if the conversation fast-forwards from your favorite food to your favorite position," she says. "Men don't dig a girl that's a gold digger" says ‘relationshipologist' Lindsay Kriger, "and asking about his finances implies that.""Talking about the current state of the nation or world economy is fine and certainly timely right now.But talking about personal financial situations is off limits until an exclusive relationship is established," says Carol Brody Fleet, author of (New Horizon Press, 2009).4. If you just met and you're already talking marriage, you're moving too fast.Most people want to find a friend or a life partner, and to meet the dates who may fulfill this desire, many 50-somethings, about 80 percent in fact, do it the old-fashioned way — through friends or family. Dating after 40 or 50 means taking control of your love life, just like you do the rest of your life. Baggage bonding is when an early date shifts into deep conversation about some baggage you have in common. You start comparing your horrific ex-spouses or your crazy awful dates. Men know who and what they want, often better than we do. The last thing you want at 55 is to wake up in the morning with flashbacks to your days as a 20-something, right? His manners, his shirt, his smile, the way he talks about his kids. If he walks away from the date having shared too much or hasn’t learned about you, then there won't be a second date. It means being kind to yourself and the men you meet. I have compiled a list of Dating Do’s and Don’ts exclusively for women like you. These are for the woman who is done repeating the same mistakes, and is ready to find her grown-up love story. It starts off innocently with a question like “So what happened with your marriage? Nothing positive can possibly come from this, sister. Yes, I know he said he was going to call you, I know you had a great date and want to see him again. That’s especially true of the grownup men that you’re dating. Unless you can talk with your dude about safe sex and the status of your relationship after intimacy, steer clear of the sack. Start off with the positive and try to stay in mode before you decide he’s not right for you.
podcast and answered ten questions on singleness and dating.You're date will go by so fast you'll just have to plan a second one.As professional relationship coaches, we meet many “serial first daters” (our nickname)—they are people who have a hard time moving dating relationships forward to something more serious. The reason this question is so important as we delve deeper is because it takes more than a great career, pretty face and round bottom to maintain a long term, committed relationship, and so often, we’re more focused on what HE needs to be rather than taking a moment to uncover what we’re bringing to the table that he can’t get anywhere else.We get a lot of questions from young Christian men and women who are “not yet married.” Their season of life awakens many desires and hopes, uncertainties and insecurities, and tricky pastoral questions.To help find the right questions, we called on three not-yet-married friends who gave some time to thinking about the challenges faced by singles: Lore Ferguson, Paul Maxwell, and the recently engaged Marshall Segal.